soulsearching

Well, today was SOOOOOO busy here. I can't wait till 5 p.m. No news from Mr. Man. I had sent him a picture via celly yesterday, and he sent a short response, but other than that nothing. I wonder what he's thinking? Tonight, I'm supposed to be going to a surprise birthday party for one of my friends at the Royal Scott Bowling/Golf place. However, it's raining pretty hard, and there's a tornado watch. Maybe I won't go.

Hombre called me earlier this afternoon. He is home, but he did not get paid. He was talking about possibly selling this broken gold necklace he's had for years so he can have some money in his pocket. He already said he was going to his cousin's house tonight. Hmph...priorities, right?

I'm not angry that he is going to his cousins, but the fact that any money he will get his hands on, he's planning on spending it on beer. That's what pisses me off. I'm sure he won't get that much money for that necklace...not enough to pay any bills, or his child support, or the insurance on his van. But I'm pretty sure it will be enough to get something to eat...

But hey, why the hell do we need food? BabyGirl and I are always complaining about how fat we are, so he probably figures he's helping us out, right? Last night, I had a bologna sandwich for dinner. And it was one of those slices that had been exposed a little too much to the air. I had to peel the outside edges off of it. We found a can of Ravioli way in the back of the cupboard. I told BabyGirl to go ahead and just eat it. She didn't want to eat all of it, because she figured I was still hungry. I told her just eat it, and if there's anything left that she can't finish, then I'll finish it.

Poor BabyGirl was hungry and ate the whole can. At least she got something in her stomach. You know, I really don't feel like going out tonight. How am I going to go out and have fun with my girlies, when I know that my kids are hungry? I don't think Hombre would be THAT selfish. He would at least feed BabyGirl. BabyBoy is 21 and can fend for himself. He has a job and money. However, he just bought his sister's old car, and is barely able to make the payments on his car insurance. Plus that car just drinks the gas up!

Anyways, I'm feeling overwhelmed at work and depressed because of our money situation. I feel like shit...my mood is matching the weather...stormy and unpredictable. Hombre better watch out...

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