soulsearching

So this weekend was interesting to say the least. But before I begin, I have to give you some background from last weekend. My daughter's group performed at the Fiesta at our local Hispanic church. Afterwards, a local band plays for the baile (dance). I used to LOVE going to the Mexican dances, but Hombre does not dance, period, so we don't go at all. Anyways, after her performance, she wanted to stay for the dance. So I figured I would stay with her, but after about half-an-hour, I just felt so out of place. That is not my scene anymore, and I felt completely uncomfortable. Plus, we had no money to get anything to eat or drink, and there wasn't anyplace to sit. We kept walking around and around the tent, and I know BabyGirl did not want to hang out with her mom all night long, when her friends were there. She stayed by my side, though, my sweet BabyGirl. Finally, I asked my girlfriend if BabyGirl could stay with her and her family, and she agreed. Well, they brought BabyGirl home, and she was acting a little...ummm, jittery. I asked her what was going on and she told me that this boy, whom she has liked for a long time, kissed her. I was surprised, amused, kinda scared (because this means changes are gonna start coming quick now), and a little put off. I knew this was going to be coming, but no matter how much you anticipate it...well, you're just never prepared.

Anyway, I didn't get mad at her. I want her to know that she can tell me things like this. From the sounds of it, it was a simple kiss (no tongue) that lingered a little longer than a peck. The boy's sister is part of the dance group, and I am friends with his mom. I figured it's time to start trusting BabyGirl to do things, like go out. I told her that the first time I find out she lied about who's she's with, where she's going, or does not come home at the required time, she will not be allowed to do anything for a long ass time. I told her "I have to trust you now, so it's up to you what you're going to do with that trust." I did not tell Hombre anything about the kiss because I didn't know if the boy just did it on the spur of the moment, and then decided he really doesn't want to be involved with my daughter, or maybe she would change her mind and decide she really doesn't like him. You know, typical teenage emotional rollercoaster shit...

So jump forward to this past Friday. Hombre gets paid for working all week. BabyGirl asked him if he had any money so that she could go to the movies...unbeknownst to me. He gives me 0 to get something to eat, and to give BabyGirl money for the movies. Now ya'll know that our hot water is not working, and he had not taken a shower/bath since then. So he decided he's gonna go take a shower at his cousins house...you know, the fellow alchoholic that cannot hear, and Hombre left in my car after he crashed it? Yeah, that guy. So he's getting his clothes together, and I asked him if he was going to go pick something up to eat. He looked at me and said no, he thought I would use BabyBoy's car to get something. I said, "Damn, you're in that big of a hurry to get to Cuz' house now that you've got money in your pocket to drink with?"

"What, I'm not gonna be gone long, I'll be right back."

"Shit we both know you won't be back till late, and you'll be drunk off your ass. And that's not the point. The point is that whenever you get money, the first thing that comes to mind is for you to go to Cuz's house to drink. Not that we need some food in the house, or toilet paper, or just getting a movie and spending time at home with the family, or just me! No...you have better things to do. Whatever, I guess I'll see ya when I see ya."

I got mad and went to the bathroom, and slammed the door. He left without another word...that fucker! Anyways, so after I go and pick something up for the kids to eat (I was not hungry, and instead bought myself a couple of beers), BabyGirl tells me that LilCrush asked her to go to the movies. I asked who was going, what movie, which theater, what time it started, who was driving, etc. Well, by the time they decided on a movie, her sister LilMama had arrived. She volunteered to drop her off at the theater where LilCrush would be waiting for her. The movie was to start at 9:15 p.m., and was to last about 1 hr. and 20 min. By the time they were walking out the door, her brother BabyBoy came out of his room. We told him what was going on, and he said he would pick her up to make sure she wasn't being a little hot ass, and to keep the boy's punk ass in check. I thought BabyGirl was going to get mad, but instead I think it made her feel good that her brother was being protective of her. Cool so we were all set.

Well, BabyBoy leaves to go pick her up...it was going on 10:30. After half an hour he calls me and tells me she has not come out yet. I told him he might have to go in and look for her. I did not give BabyGirl my cell phone, because at the moment the service is suspended, and you cannot call out. Eleven p.m. rolls around, and Hombre comes home with BK for me, BabyGirl, and himself. And yes, he is drunk, but not sloppy drunk. I got mad at him for driving home...he should have just stayed at his cousins...but he just refuses to listen to me. BabyBoy calls me and said he is still waiting for BabyGirl to come out and I start getting pissed. About twenty minutes later, they stroll in. I asked her what happened, and she said that the movie they were going to see was sold out so they went to go see the Narnia movie, which is about 2 1/2 hours long. I asked to see her ticket stub, and it had the name of the original movie they were supposed to go see. Oooh, I got pissed!!! She said that after they gave them their tickets, they were told that that movie was sold out, and were told to go to any of the other movies. I didn't believe her, but I said, "And you can't call and let me know? I know that kid has a damn phone. Your brother was sitting out there for an hour and a half waiting for your little ass, and you just didn't think to call?"

So this gets Hombre's attention, and asked what was going on. BabyGirl dashed to her bedroom real quick. I told him why I was mad. He barked at me and said, "You fucking let her go to the movies with a boy all by herself? What the fuck?"

"You know what, don't even start that shit with me. Don't play at being the concerned parent now! You're biggest concern was getting to Cuz' house so you can start drinking. You never show any interest in what is going on with the kids, with the house, with the finances...nothing. But now you want to be the protective dad? I wasn't even home half an hour and you were already out the damn door! I'm the one making these damn decisions because I don't have a partner that I can talk to about this shit. Don't you think I feel like I made a big ass mistake because of this? Yeah, I made the call, and I was wrong. And all you can do is fucking point fingers at me because I took a chance and trusted her. It must be nice to be judge and jury without having to make any fucking decisions!"

He didn't say shit after that. After I calmed down enough, and asked her to tell me about the movie, and not just the parts they show on TV, I realized that she did actually see the movie. She apologized for not calling, and said she knows she should have. She apologized to her brother for having wait all that time. I told her next time, things will go a little differently, but I still have to think about it. The next day Hombre acted like nothing was wrong. I thought he was going to say something to BabyGirl, or give her the silent treatment. But he went and got some breakfast because she said she was hungry. It was like nothing ever happened. The rest of the weekend went by as it normally does...Hombre drinking every night, and passing out on the couch. I donated platelets on Saturday, and stayed home the rest of the time. My weekend was shitty, but what else is new?

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