Mr. Man, Hombre, and waiting for....something!
12:38 p.m. - 2008-05-29
Well, today is another day. And now I have Mr. Man on my mind. I really think he is just waiting for me to give in...he knows me so well, damnit!!!
I couldn't sleep last night, as I kept thinking about him. Hombre has been in a shitty mood the last couple of days. No drinky, drinky...no talky talky. I swear, I think we probably spoke less than a hundred words to each other yesterday. And since he has nothing to drink, he stays in the living room and watches TV, and HE DOES NOT PRODUCE AN INVITING ENOVIRONMENT for the family to join in. He's restless, so all he does is click through all the channels, not really watching any one show. If I had a car, I could at least get out of the house and away from him. But we are all stuck in this box, just avoiding each other.
I want to see Mr....I really do. Should I be selfish, and just do what will bring me relief from my stagnant life? To enjoy myself with another human being, even if it will be shortlived for an hour or two? Can I really do that? Well, I guess the answer to that is I can DO anything I want...but will I allow myself to?
Maybe it's just the thrill of the chase. Me chasing him, or him chasing me...either way, it makes me feel like someone wants me...likes me a little bit. But I'm not going to call him today. I want to see what his next step is going to be.
He told me the other day, that he will be willing to help me financially...
Just the offer made me feel human again. I do have feelings, and people do care about those feelings...at least Mr. Man does.
Now it's the waiting game. Something's gotta give.
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