White Rose

Thanksgiving and Al-anon
1:27 p.m. - 2007-11-23

Yes, well...it was a pretty good Thanksgiving. That is until Hombre decided to leave and go to his cousin's house to drink. We were at his mom's house, and we contributed homemade cornbread stuffing, and green bean casserole. Everyone ate, then sat around talking and laughing. Hombre did not have anything to drink all day. His sister and her man got ready to leave to go to her cousins house, and Hombre asked if he could go with them. He tells me that he's leaving, and he'll be back later. I looked at him, and asked, "You're serious? You're really leaving?"

He quickly got pissed. "Yeah! I'll be back," and he walked out. I tried not to, but I started to cry. I tried to get to the bathroom before anyone would notice, but my MIL saw me. She was not happy with Hombre, and even less pleased with her daughter because she just up and left without her kids. Didn't ask if her mom would watch the kids, just TOLD her mom she'll be back by 11:30.

Ugh...I was so mad at Hombre, and his damn sister! She's the type that would do anything for her older brother, even if it means hiding shit that her brother is doing that he shouldn't be doing. Hombre just wanted to go drink and smoke, and knew his sister would be the one to get him what he wanted.

He did come home around 9:30, and he wasn't stupid drunk, but a little more than just "buzzed." It was OK...I slept with BabyGirl, though. Her and I were stuffed, and fell asleep pretty quickly.

The lady from Al-Anon called me back on Thursday. She was giving me times and days for the meetings in my area, and Hombre came home. I was in the BabyGirls bedroom, and he opened the door to turn off the light, and was surprised to find me in the room talking on my cell phone. I played it off like I was making payment arrangements with the gas company. The poor lady on the other end was confused at first until she heard me tell Hombre I was talking to the gas company. She said she understood, and told me to call her if I had anymore questions.

Meetings are on Mondays and Tuesdays from 8 p.m. - 9 p.m. Lilmama and I drove past on Tuesday, and there was a shitload of people standing outside. I mean a big ass crowd. I got scared and didn't stop. LilMama said that when I'm ready, she will go with me. We can tell her dad that BabyGirl and I are just going over to watch something on TV, but that BabyGirl can babysit LilAngel while we go to the meeting.

So now it looks like I have nothing stopping me from actually attending a meeting, except my own cowardly ass!

I really didn't think the group would be so big. I figured 10 people at the most, but it looked more like at a minimum 20 folks.

Anyways...things I'm thankful for:

My kids and LilAngel

My home

My job

My D'land buds!

My Fina...

My Trish...

My Barb...

My MIL...

My sisters and family...